My little man just turned 3 and I can’t believe just how fast time flies. If you follow me on Instagram, then you’ve probably read the contents of this post, however, this post is for those who haven’t been exposed to my posts yet.

3 years ago we knew our lives were going to change but didn’t exactly know what that meant. We only knew we would love this little guy that was wreaking havoc on my body.

During this photo shoot by one of my favourite people ever @yuhiro, I could barely breathe, I was on heavy painkillers and didn’t know that my heart was taking a beating heading into heart failure but I was determined to have an amazing photo shoot to commemorate this moment. Yuhiro asked us several times if we wanted to stop, but I said no and kept on going. He was very accommodating to my slow movements and we got some amazing shots with little effort by me.

Before I met Alayo, I knew I would love him because of the journey it took to meet him but I didn’t think I would or could love as much as I love him today. I would wonder what his voice would sound like when he started talking, wondered who he would look like, his mannerisms and what habits he would develop. I often wondered if I would be a good mother because babysitting other kids for spurts is different than having one with you 24/7. I prayed that he would not inherit my bad habits or temperaments and I prayed that he would be worth all the pain I felt through my pregnancy. I prayed he would be worth all the hospital trips and stays, all the days and nights spent crying in pain, little did I know that delivering this little man would be the biggest test of them all. (On a side note, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the beauty called pregnancy hair! The fullness and having my hair cooperate all the time was unbelievable!!!)

This very first picture of my amazing fighter was taken by my SUPERB BEST EVER WORDS CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE doctor.

The day he was born was what I thought to be the scariest day of my life. We went into the hospital on March 14 because my BP was up to 200 and with all the other complications I had on my chart, my doctor told me I wasn’t going back home until I had him.

Her first point of concern was to get my blood pressure down before beginning the process of labour. Well, a few hours later, the team came back to inform us that my inability to breathe was not normal and they would be performing more tests. Well turns out, I had developed preeclampsia, heart failure and a list of other issues. Under close monitoring, it was still important for my doctor that I deliver this boy naturally but he had other plans. I remember laying down and talking with @davefound and @tineshamw between contractions when my nurse came over to check me and knew instantly that something was wrong. I went into protective prayer mode and would not speak to anyone but simply stayed focused on praying and communicating with the little man inside me and begging him to stay alive because his father needed to meet him.

The next memory I have is in the operating room when the doctor started cutting me and the pain was unbelievable because they didn’t have time to medicate me properly. They got him out and all I remember hearing was “come on baby, come on baby” and I froze because I feared the worst. Shortly after, I heard his cries and blacked out. Woke up later to Dave in the operating room begging me to wake up, i remember it took a lot of strength to make myself speak (it was surreal because I wanted to talk but couldn’t make myself speak), eventually, I spoke and all I said to Dave was “is he ok?” Dave said “yes he’s perfect” and I said “take care or him” and in that moment, I was ready to stop fighting.

When I woke up hours later in the room with Dave beside me, the joy I felt was unspeakable that not only was I alive but everyone was fine. I finally met Alayo when his nurses brought him down and I woke from my daze to pray over him and instantly went right back into my dazed state.

What would follow over the next two weeks after delivering was me continuing to fight for my life as the doctors continued to run numerous tests on me because they couldn’t figure out what was wrong and how to treat me.

Meanwhile, Alayo was well taken care of in his own space and remained healthy.

After many setbacks and unknown causes, many failed attempts at diagnosing the issues and many failed treatment plans, my body was finally ready to start healing itself and I was able to spend more time with my little guy in the hospital. It was a very trying time for us but the three of us were together and that was the sunshine in my cloudy days. Through this experience, I developed serious hate and fear of hospitals that I never had before.

When I was finally in a steady state of improvement and begged my doctors to let me go home with a promise to return at the sign of any change and with daily home nurse visits scheduled, we were on our way home.

The next 3 months brought on more setbacks for me but we came out on the other side and the biggest testimony of it all is to be found in the smile of the little boy named Alayonimi.

His name translated means “I am a person of joy” and anyone who interacts with him can attest that he is a true embodiment of his name.

So when I take March 16 seriously and celebrate it every year with vigorous excitement, this is why. My story is not what I dreamt it would be but it is beautiful and it has brought me an amazing child.

Happy 3rd birthday to the most amazing boy I know! To my Christian music-loving, mall-loving boy. I pray for you every day more than you know. You were worth everything and you continue to be worth everything! Keep on smiling and spreading your joy with the world. Last night, I made him watch pregnancy videos with me and his focus was that my belly was hurting. My goal is to keep that light in you alive so that your joy never dims.??